Told by: Michelle
I came across this site a few days ago and it really helped me get through this difficult time.. My story…….. We were so excited, we were going to a private gender scan booked at 16 weeks; I couldn’t wait to find out what we were having. However, things didn’t go to plan the sonographer gave us the terrible news that our baby had died 2 weeks before. Heartbroken and in a daze we left there to await the hospital to call us to make the necessary arrangements (the sonographer phoned them to let them know and give my details). It was only a few hours after that they called and asked us to go straight in. The staff were so kind. I felt overwhelmed by it all. We had to have another scan so they could confirm the baby had died; this had to be done by 2 sonographers, and I was devastated having to look at my baby asleep and not moving so many times. After all the scans,chats etc I was given 3 options to remove the baby. I chose the medical management so I was given a tablet and told to come back in 2 days. I was so scared and didn’t know what to expect,this was when I came across this site. It was so helpful having pictures of baby’s born any various times as I at least had an idea as to what to expect our baby to look like. We returned to the hospital where they inserted the tablets to help open my cervix,it wasn’t long before the pain tore through me like mini contractions. My baby boy (Noah) was born a few hours later,I couldn’t bear to look at him at this point as I just completely lost it and was sobbing uncontrollably. We buzzed for the nurse who clamped the cord and took baby Noah away. We asked about seeing him after, but she advised us not to, saying that he didn’t look great as he’d died 2 weeks ago etc, but after seeing the pictures on here I felt I was able to cope and that I needed to see my son. When she brought him in to us I was surprised because he didn’t look horrible at all. My little angel was perfect,tiny but perfect. I sat and held him mesmerized by his tiny hands and feet, looking at his beautiful mouth which almost looked like a smile, tiny nose and ears. It was a really special moment and I’m so glad that I saw our baby. I didn’t think I would cope seeing him but it gave me a sense of peace and happiness in a strange way. After we called the nurse to take Noah I was then left to wait for the placenta to deliver as it wouldn’t come out; this is where it all went wrong.
The placenta came out half way but even after having the allowed amount of tablets(don’t know what they were called but was to help deliver everything and keep contractions going) I started to bleed heavily and ended up feeling funny then passing out. My poor partner was worried sick. I don’t remember much from this point but when I came round enough to realize I had actually been moved to another ward and had 2 canulas fitted 1 in each arm for fluids and medication. I left drifting in and out for a few hours and my partner told me that I had every medical person on the ward in my room plus other doctors they had called. I can’t begin to imagine how scared my partner was, but he was brilliant all throughout my ordeal. After a few hours I began to feel normal again and just wanted to go home, but I ended up having to stay to be observed. Doctors were baffled why I went funny but put it down to a mix of the stress of the day plus a reaction to all the medication I’d had and a temperature I developed. I was allowed home the next morning and I really felt that this site had really helped me through a difficult time and dispite the trauma it wasn’t as bad as I was expecting it to be. I just wanted to share my story and I hope it helps someone like the stories and pictures on here helped me. I miss my angel baby so much. We chose to have a post mortem to determine a cause as we had had 3 miscarriages previously but they were early on(we had a healthy baby boy after those three though). xx