How do you remember?

Review and Giveaway!

As parents, we are the most important people – and likely the only people – to actually speak to the reality of our lost babies – our deceased children.

How do you remember?

In what special ways do you validate the life of your baby(ies)?

Answer in the comments below for a chance to win!

Misty, from Written for Your Wall, is offering a giveaway opportunity of one of her beautiful wooden “baby boards” with custom printing on it, to one bereaved parent who leaves a comment below, stating how you remember your baby(ies).

Misty started making these sweet “baby boards” to remember her son, Isaac, who was born and who died on April 8, 2009 to anencephaly.  As she says, simply seeing his name within her home has been very soothing and validating to her.  It is healing.

She remembers her son Isaac, every day.  Every day she remembers she is his mother, that he is not here, and that he is in Heaven.

Seeing his name within her home, every day, honors this truth.

When I contacted Misty about my own baby board for my miscarried baby, I told her what his name is and that I was immediately led to 1 Samuel 1:11 when I found out that he had died.  With only that information, she put together the most amazing and beautiful board to honor and validate my son – and now I have his name in our home too, to see and to remember, every day.

I miss him, and while I do miss out on many things with him, I know that I didn’t miss out on him.  He is very much a reality – one who I only shared a moment with in this life, but who I spend the rest of my life waiting to see again in the next.

For Misty, it has been extremely important to validate that her son is very much alive – every single day – in Heaven.  He didn’t just disappear, float into nothingness, or undo his existance.

Misty says, “Isaac is REAL and he lives. He is a part of our family forever and his place in our lives is secure. We remember and honor him because we know he exists and that we will be together, as a whole family, again one day!!”

Our children, mine and hers,  are real.  They are alive in Heaven.  Every day.

In honor of the third stillbirthday of Misty’s son Isaac, and in honor of the first stillbirthday of my miscarried baby, both welcomed into our arms – and into Heaven – in April,  together Misty and I are presenting a special gift to another loss parent who participates in this giveaway.

These boards are specially priced for bereaved parents at only $13.50, which includes shipping and handling.  Please visit her site to learn more about customizing your special keepsake.

But now, this is what the LORD says—  he who created you, he who formed you: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.  ~Isaiah 43:1

 With Baby Loss Mother’s day fast approaching (May 6), Mother’s day right behind it (May 11), and Father’s day just after that (June 17), now is certainly the time to consider adding one of these beautiful baby boards to your home.  That’s right – if you’ve been looking for the perfect gift for your man, to validate his fatherhood role and give him something meaningful – a baby board would be a perfect gift.  They are strong, durable, simple and so very beautiful.  A baby board is something both of you will treasure having in your home for many years to come.

This giveaway will run throughout the month of April.  A random person from the comments below will then be selected as the winnner, with details on how to contact Misty to obtain your beautiful baby board, with your baby’s name and a special message that you customize.  The winner will be announced at our Facebook page on May 1.

Let us all learn how others remember their babies, to be encouraged with ideas, as you enter to win a special item for your home!

How do you remember?  Do you remember every day?

~~~~~

This giveaway is now closed.  The winner is Syds.Kid!

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27 Responses to How do you remember?

  1. Sarah Swearingane says:

    We lost our sweet Aaron to miscarriage on May 26, 2010 at just 7 weeks gestation. I think of Aaron constantly. I’m not 100% sure if Aaron is a boy or girl, but feel pretty strongly that he’s a boy. I’ve just recently begun to say/write “he/him” when referring to Aaron. I created a memorial facebook page Aaron http://www.facebook.com/LuvAaron. I share things on there that make me think of my sweet baby. In or home, on our mantle, we have things for Aaron. There are bookmarks from Caleb Cares, a pebble from treasure beans, a bracelet from Angel Baby Bracelets, and of course a candle. I also have an angel and a cross that belonged to my grandmother, she passed away just five months before Aaron. For Christmas my hubby had my “mommy necklace” finished, it has five birthstone children on it, four boys and one girl, all in birth order. Aaron is our fourth child. I have a tattoo in memory of Aaron also. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of my child in heaven. I love and miss him everyday… and I will always remember!

  2. Melissa Hart says:

    I remember every day in so many ways. There are so many reminders… Because I lost our one and only, every little thing reminds me of what we are missing. We planted a tree in our baby’s memory. Once it has taken root really well, it will be adorned with flowers and a memorial stone. Every day, several times a day, I gaze at our tree and talk to it, pray with it, and let it help me heal.

  3. Stormy says:

    I remember both of our children every day.
    I remember Gideon every moment of every day. I keep a blog in his memory. And I make sure to post it to my facebook page, so my friends and family can remember him always too. If I am not writing in my blog, I write in a journal and write about Gideon and write to him. I keep pictures of him up all around our house, I post his pictures to my facebook page, and I have items with his name on it. Gideon is going to be a big brother soon and in his little brother’s nursery, I have a picture of Gideon on the baby’s dresser that says “Big Brother.” So Gideon’s little brother, Silas, will always know of his big brother. I do not hesitate to talk about Gideon. My husband and I talk about him every day, he was stillborn over 10 months ago, but he is such a huge part of my family. I talk about Gideon with my siblings and parents all the time as well. They talk about him too and all of them have pictures of him. I wear a necklace every day with his footprints engraved on it. I want to get a tattoo of his footprint on my foot. I have a 2 blankets that were made for me after Gideon died that we have and I use Gideon’s baby blanket that my parents made for him. I go to the cemetery at least once a month and sit and pray and read my bible, and talk to the Lord and spend time at the physical resting place of our son. We are planning on having a first birthday party for him to remember his 33 weeks on this earth with our family and close friends. I am in the process of starting a local ministry to help other mommies and daddies who have had a stillbirth or infant death. Those are some of the things I do to remember our precious Gideon.

    I remember our tiny Avery when I see a little girl with curly blonde hair. We lost Avery at about 5 weeks, but she (we dont know if the baby was a girl, but we think so) was and is so very loved! We have a small memory box for her with her name on it and inside of it are the onesies I made for my husband to tell him we were pregnant, one says “I love my daddy” and the other says “Daddy’s little caddie” (my hubby loves golf). I have in the box my pregnancy tests I took and pictures of me while pregnant with her. I also have a copy of the card we made for my parents to tell them we were pregnant.
    And for both of my children in heaven I wear a bracelet with their initials on it. I made the bracelet and it has an “A” for Avery and a “G” for Gideon.
    And I remember them both, when I think of heaven, which I do constantly since I have 2 children there. I remember them both when I think of the day when we will all be united in eternity with our Savior.

  4. “I miss him, and while I do miss out on many things with him, I know that I didn’t miss out on him. He is very much a reality – one who I only shared a moment with in this life, but who I spend the rest of my life waiting to see again in the next.” Oh, friend… This brought me to tears today- if so many of us know this, it must be the Lord’s truth about our children. I can’t wait to meet Calan and Anduril, to learn their new names and to see the person they were always meant to be… Thank You, God for an eternity with my children!!!

    How do I remember my children… I do birthwork. That statement encompasses many things, but I mother my living children by homeschooling, laughing, reading stories, going to the playground, watching stars, etc… I honor my waiting children by doing birthwork in their name…

    –Angie

  5. I remember my babies Zoe & Addie with every breath that I take, with every word spoken in support to another babyloss mom, every prayer for every person God crosses our path with at Grief Journeys (https://www.facebook.com/GriefJourneys)…every picture I take of something beautiful in nature….every word I write on my blog (www.hopesjourneyblog.blogspot.com). xo

  6. my says:

    We lost our first baby on October 19, 2011, we didn’t do much to honor that baby. It was such a shock I just wanted to have the d&c and get it all over with. Much to my regret later on.
    We found out about our second loss on March 29, 2012 after losing a second child I want and need to do more to honor my lost babies. We are going to give them names and perform our own memorial service.
    I also have shadow boxes I plan to put together with the few items we have from our babies. I also am going to buy engraved garden stones with their names and dates.

  7. King's Daughter says:

    I remember that my sweet Lia Joy died while i was pouring my heart out to her in my journal. It was the next best thing to holding her while she took her last breath. I had listened to her heartbeat before i began writing and again when i was done and could no longer find it. I knew she had died while i was writing all my wishes and emotions about her diagnosis. I felt like it was as beautiful as i could have hoped for. I miss you Lia Joy!

  8. Kristin Young says:

    We have lost 10 babies over the years. I still remember finding out I was pregnant with each one, still remember the day I found out they passed, and the experience of their birth.
    It saddens me that until this year none of the children have been given validation of truly haven LIVED! We’ve lost 4 in the last 12 months, but only one of them has been given the right to mourn by our society. He was stillborn at my 5th month. Gabriel Christian. Because he was delivered in a hospital labor and delivery and held,,he got the right to be grieved. My heart breaks for the other children that I feel have been brushed by.
    I’ve prayed that God would give me at least a name for each one of them. Some were too early to know the gender, but I trust that God knows.
    We lost Gabriel only a few months ago. I’d like to get a box to place his pictures, ultrasounds, cards, blankets. I haven’t done any of this yet. We got a Christmas ornament for him and put it on the tree because each of my living children have one for their first Christmas. I plan to have flowers donated for our church sanctuary on his first stillbirthday.
    While pregnant with him, my mother knitted him a blanket for his baby dedication. I’m currently pregnant again. I’m trusting the Lord with the life of this baby. I can see myself holding him before the Lord wrapped in his brother’s blanket as we dedicate him and all the future children we trust the Lord to bless us with.
    In honor of
    Gideon 5-93; Deborah 1-97; unnamed 6-98; unnamed 5-2002; Jeremiah 9-06;unnamed 1-09; Caleb & Joseph twins 5-11; Gabriel Christian 10-12-11; & Isaiah Ray 1-14-12
    We love you and look forward to our glorious reunion!

  9. Arriell Catalano says:

    I lost my son Brody on February 9th, 2012 due to my body going into preterm labor with no medical explanation. My son was only at 21 weeks 6 days gestation. He was with us for 1 hour 39 minutes until he went to be with the lord. I remember and keep him alive through a variety of things. My favorite items that I have would have to be my ‘open hearts ring’ with his name and birthday engraved around the band with his birthstone and mine in the hearts. I share stories about my pregnancies and talk about him every moment that I can get a word in. I love seeing his name on everything and will never be able to collect enough things with his name! I visit him at his grave everyday and it helps to put my heart at ease because I feel his presence. I wake up everyday to my dresser filled with pictures, poems, items, bears, jewelry, his molded footprints and the outfit and blanket he was in at the hospital. ❤ Brody Emanuel will forever live on through me and my heart.

    • Carolyne says:

      Ariell – I just wanted to let you know that I lost my Brody on August 31st 2011. Your story stood out to me because of our same choice of name, and I just wanted to reach out to you and send hugs.

      • Arriell Catalano says:

        Oh how that touches deep down in my heart. I have yet to hear of someone else also naming their son Brody! Such a unique and powerful name and it pains me more than anyone will ever know that I won’t ve hearing his name over the loud speaker at sporting events, graduation or his wedding day. Are you on facebook? I’d be happy to keep in touch!

      • Wendy LeRoy says:

        Arrielle and Carolyne,
        I also lost my baby Brody on July 9, 2010. I was 22 weeks pregnant when Brody died of a cord accident. It is nice to have someone else who understands the pain of losing a baby.
        Wendy

      • Arriell Catalano says:

        Wendy, I am terribly sorry about your loss but love your choice in name! I was just under 22 weeks when I went into labor with my Brody. The past 8 weeks havent been easy but I am reassured by other greiving mothers that it does get easier. Hope all his well in your heart and home<3

      • Wendy LeRoy says:

        Arriell,
        It does get easier in time. You will never forget and there will be times of sadness but it gets better:)

  10. Nerissa Tiffany says:

    I remember Holden in so many ways. I don’t think her children are ever off of a mother’s mind. When I look at my older living girls, I see glimpses of what Holden may have looked like. When I feel my baby moving inside me, I remember how her brother moved, in his own ways. When I look at the flowers in my yard, I anticipate the arrival of the forget-me-nots that covered it last year. When I look at the sky, I think of the crow that carried his spirit to the other side. When I look at the clouds, I remember those dark, early days, but know that the sunshine of remembering my sweet boy lies behind.

  11. Katie Franklin says:

    I had my daughter Hana at 38.5 weeks and she was stillborn. I was in Colorado while my husband was away at basic. I honor my daughter by having a area in my living room for her with about 2 shelf units both full for everyone to see. I also have a facebook for her http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001243884402 and found another website that I have set up a page for her as well http://hana-leigh-franklin.gonetoosoon.org/ . I also have a child and infant loss awareness bracelet, a pink and blue ribbon pin, a hear with feet in it as a pin, and a ring that says (heart) In Memory (heart) Hana Franklin, that I wear everyday. I have a tattoo that looks like a charm bracelet that is in memory of her. (I have the pictures on her facebook). I also have a sticker on my jeep of the ribbon for awareness. Her first name my husband picked out as Hana for flower and I chose Leigh for from the meadow so we call her our lil flower in the meadow of heaven. We also use Aurora from sleeping beauty for her because she was born in Aurora, Co. So that is about it right now.

  12. CeeCee says:

    As a friend of Misty’s, I can tell you that her heart is truly full in to this project. You will get such a beautiful board that you can display proudly in your house. So happy to see this 🙂

  13. cassie demars says:

    My mom got me a keepsake box i keep the ultrasound pictures the sympothy cards and the greiving coins inside love looking throuh it every now and then also visiting there grave site

  14. brittany says:

    I am very new to this, ‘angel baby’ world. I don’t know how to remember. Some days it’s all i think about, and I feel like I’m obsessing to an unhealthy level. And then days will go by and I don’t think about her, and I think that now I’m cold. I have a scar on my tummy that reminds me every day that she was here, but there is no grave, there are no ashes. I was going to tattoo over the scar, but then my mentor told me that, this is how i know my baby existed. so i won’t be covering it. i’m sure i’ll get to the point where i know how to grieve. but right now. i’m not there yet. But i’m in week 4 of my mentor. so. i’m hoping for the best.

  15. Syds.Kid says:

    It took us 13 years to finally conceive a child. It had been so long, and I had given up hope years earlier. It was a surprise to find out that I was indeed pregnant. I gave birth to my son Jared James when he was only 20 weeks old. I held him in my arms while he lived for 33 minutes and there he died. My husband and I were devastated. I love my son so much, it hurts. I remember, cherish, and honor his life in different ways. We planted a tree in the front yard: Jared’s Tree. I have created artwork in his honor, trying to capture a mother’s heart and loss. It snowed a lot that first week, and when it snows in “just the right way” I remember his short life. I “intentionally grieve”; meaning, I set certain times aside where I meditate on his life and remember he is a blessing. We have little clay hearts that have his hands & feet prints. I have those hand/feet prints tattooed on my arm, along with his name and the saying “And in an instant you changed our lives forever”. I honor his life by reaching out to other hurting mamas out there who don’t know how to grieve. I honor Jared by talking about him, not sweeping him under the rug. I have his picture hanging in the living room. His ashes sit on our bookshelf, in a tiny little wooden box. The engraving on the box is a hummingbird, which we think is perfect for such a small baby. Delicate bones and yet so beautiful, so fragile. I will never forget my son, and the gift of love that he taught me.

  16. sarah says:

    Such beautiful stories. I have multiple losses but it wasn’t until Benjamin Isaiah was born sleeping at 40 weeks that I started collecting things to remember our babies. The very first was from my husband’s work, a beautiful engraved silver picture frame with his picture in it. I have added little figurines of angels holding babies, and a little baby enveloped in angel wings. They all sit on a glass shelf in my living room, lit by recessed lighting, and I have a memory box with other keep sakes. I don’t have a problem with “angel babies” but it is more special to me to see regular sweet little babies being cuddled and played with by the angels.

  17. Elizabeth says:

    I remember my daughter Ruby through the publishing of my book, All That is Seen and
    Unseen; A Journey Through a First Trimester Miscarriage (www.themiscarriagebook.com). I wrote the book by taking my journal entries that I wrote I order to preserve every moment of her pregnancy and adding more details about my life so a reader could follow them as if they were with me. Although my website is not dedicated to her (www.allthatisseenandunseen.com), I can visit my site and see how far I have come.

    My daughters death announcement sits on my mirror so I see her everyday. After my book launch, friends of mine gave us a gift that is ruby red and has a dragonfly on it and it sits on our kitchen table so we see her everyday.

    2 years ago today, my thoughts were confirmed via ultrasound that my baby’s heart no longer beat. I will always remember my Ruby Josephine and the pain of losing her.

  18. I devote time every day to my three Angel babies. I love and miss each one of my children: Sweet Pea Serrano 7-10-09, Lil Dumplin’ Serrano 1-11-11 and Julian Quinn Serrano 2-10-12. It is a struggle to live without them but, I try to honor them in positive ways including singing to them, writing poetry/creating pieces, visiting the cemetery, helping other grieving families by listening to their stories and whatever else I think may make them be proud of me. I also draw stars on my arm daily in remembrance of my family’s six Angels and as the stars fade it reminds me that I may not be able to see or touch them but they are always with me. I praise all of the moms and dads for their strength as they endure and survive this heartbreaking time. I send you all, my family in grief, blessings, peace, hope and love as we keep faith and continue on our journey. May we find happiness all around us.

  19. marijean says:

    I lost my daughter on August 13, 2010 at 32 weeks gestation, my life has never been the same. I have a beautiful cross hanging up with her name on it right near to what would have been her nursery and that gives me some comfort to always see her name in the house. I had a difficult pregnancy after her and had a baby boy 10 months after her death. He had complications and it was touch and go. He pulled through and I thank my daughter everyday for keeping her baby brother safe and for sending him to me. I will always remember her and a piece of my heart will always be missing. I always talk to her and pray to her. RIP my beautiful daughter Ashley Grace.

  20. Megz says:

    It was the four month anniversary of Nathaniels loss just this past week and yesterday marked the three week mark of losing Scout. Losing two babies in less than four months is sometimes more than I can bear when I think about them. Wishing i could hold then just once, tell them they are loved and forever a part of our family. Almost daily, my oldest daughter speaks about her brother and how she can grow wings and go to Heaven to get him back. I briefly told her about Scout but my heart couldn’t bear letting her in to the second loss after how I saw it broke her heart. Just last week she said the Jesus told her in her dreams that her brother will be returning to her. And that she could paint his hair red. That is how every day I remember their precious short lives. Through my daughters eyes.

  21. Maggie kuttner says:

    I remember everyday! When I wake up, I think of makayla, I have a charm on my bracelet for her, I have a guardian angel plaque from my husband, I write in my journal, when I listen to music, when I look at my other daughter, when I see a baby, when I hear the name makayla, when I look at her pictures and through her memory box. EVERYTHING reminds me of her because she should be with us, not gone already. I write her letters and pray for her everyday. My life will never be the same, but that’s okay, because I am her mom and I got the chance to hold her, kiss her, and love her!

  22. Shannon says:

    August 23, 2011 was the day we said good bye. Our daughter, Hazel Grace was a 21week loss to trisomy 18! She is forever in our hearts and in our family. We think aboutyou her everydayashes and my songrandmothers misses her even more than we do. We didn’t get to meet face to face, but I have imprints of her tiny feet and plan on getting them tattooed on my foot after her new brother is born (he is due at the end of August and we know she brought him to us).

    On my birthday, which is July 1 (and was also my grandmothers birthday) we will hike up Mt. Rainier and spread her ashes with my grandmothers!

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