Told by: April
I had a beautiful baby girl Maylee Jurie on 2/29/2012 I was 28 weeks. I had been to the doctor the Monday before and her heartbeat and everything was good. That weekend I wasn’t feeling her move as much so I called the doctor that Monday. He sent me for a non stress test and there I found out she had no heart beat or fluid around her. That next morning I had went in to be induced. I had 20 long hours of labor and then she was born. She was perfect, beautiful in every way. I held her for 10 which was not long enough. I wanted her forever!!!! It’s been 2 weeks and I have so many hurts. Everyday is a stepping stone. My moods are different day to day. The doctor says I leaked all my fluid out and the cord was around her neck. Other than that no answers. The day I left the hospital I had to make funeral arrangements and everything seemed so unreal. I try everyday, but the day is long and hard. I blame myself for not knowing, I blame the doctor for not catching it ,I’ve even been mad at my body and at God. Regardless she’s not coming back and there’s nothing I can do to change that. I have pictures, memories and I’ll never forget her. I felt this pregnancy was going great I had no problems at all. I had thought about going to a high risk doctor because 10 years ago when I had my daughter I had HELLPS and it almost took both of out lives. But I didn’t. I have a lot of things to get through to forgive myself for. I started taking an antidepressant, going for help, joined a support group…I’m trying and that’s all I can do.