Harper’s Hands

Told by: Kristie

I am a mother to 10 precious children – we are raising 5 and Jesus is raising 5.   I have had 3 early miscarriages, a loss at 16 weeks – our son, Isaiah, and then on July 8, 2008 our daughter Harper was born sleeping at 40 weeks.  The day Harper died I experienced a pain that is indescribable but I also had the most amazing feeling of peace wash over me.  ” The Lord is close to the broke hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” Psalm 34:18  I was beyond devastated that my daughter was gone but I also knew that God had plans for me and I needed to fully lean on Him.  If our family had not had Jesus in our lives, I don’t know how we would have survived those first few months.  Our family started a ministry called Harpers Hands.   We make quilt squares and on the back is a place for parents to put their child’s footprints or handprints on.   I helped to start a support group with a friend to help mom’s who have lost a child and we are in the process of working with hospitals and funeral homes to help educate on how to best help grieving families and items to help remember their children.   Our family welcomed our rainbow baby in 2009.    Going through a pregnancy after the death of a child was quite a journey.  I used to think that if I made it past 12 weeks, or 16 weeks that I was safe but Harpers death changed all that.  My innocence and sense of magic during pregnancy was gone.   I had found out an ugly truth – not all pregnancies have a happy ending and sometimes babies die.   Through it all though – miscarriages & a stillbirth – I have been blessed with 5 beautiful children , a supportive husband, and a deeper faith in God.

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This entry was posted in 04 weeks, 05 weeks, 06 weeks, 16 weeks, 40 weeks, Getting Pregnant Again. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Harper’s Hands

  1. sarah says:

    I can so relate to your story. Thank you for sharing, I want you to know that I have shared your story on Facebook.

    Congratulations on your rainbow baby. I know that feeling, that you used to think that if you got to a certain point in pregnancy you could trust that you now had your baby with you for good, the risk of loss was gone. I’ve also had multiple early losses, and one 40 week stillbirth. I am now amazingly pregnant with our rainbow baby and praying that whatever happens, we will have peace. And so far, we have!

    Sarah, mom to 4 girls on Earth, many (maybe 7?) in Heaven, and one sweet one growing in the depths, 14 weeks so far.

  2. Natalie says:

    Your story is so touching! I love the way you put it that you were raising 5 and Yeshua is raising 5. I too have many babies in His loving arms. I have 16 biological children and 3 adopted. 6 are with us here. I held our precious daughter Kennedy for the first time as she took her last breaths and went home to be with the Lord at 24 days. It was the most bitter sweet thing I had ever experienced. I think often about how hard she fought for life and how sweet it must sounded when Yeshua called her home for her to just say ok I’ll go. I knew that it was such a (somehow) “precious ” thing for me to get to hand her to Him. a year and 5 days after Kennedy was born our son Brendan was born. He was such a picture of God’s faithfulness. After Brendan I had 3 miscarriages and then became pregnant with Lane Thomas. At 20 weeks I started leaking fluid and was admitted to the hospital. They let me go home after 3 days and thought that the leak had repaired itself but my water broke on mothers day. I went back to the hospital where I stayed until I got an infection at 24 weeks. Lane died moments before he was born. He was 1lb 10z and just perfect. The hospital didn’t offer us a birth certificate or death certificate but I know my son lives today because his redeemer lives.!!!! Since Lane died I have had 7 more early miscarriages. My first pregnancy ended miscarriage as well making 11. My son Brendan is always reminding me how big our family is and how wonderful it will be when we are all together again. I agree!!!!

    Kennedy went to be with God in Oct. 2003 and on new years morning I felt like I had left her and could never get back to her. But as my sweet husband prayed with me that morning the Lord told me that I had not left her I was one day closer to her. He told me that some days might be harder than others but that every day was a step toward her and to Him and that He would be there to walk me through every one….. I am here to tell you that He has!!!! I tell people today that I don’t know that I know who God is because of all the great things He has done for me (He has done so much!!!!) but for who He was and what He did for me when He walked with me I through my darkest days. To God be all the glory. I do not understand His ways but know He is sovereign and trust Him completely!!!!

    When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you:
    And when you pass through the rivers,
    They will not sweep over you.
    When you walk through the fire,
    You will not be burned:
    The flames will not set you ablaze,.
    For I am the Holy One of Israel your
    Savior.
    Isaiah 43:2, 3

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