Told by: Michelle
“The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away: may the name of the Lord be praised. In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.” Job 1:21,22
I must share that our sweet baby’s heart has stopped beating, and she will not see the light of day.
I am thankful for being granted the faith to have peace that the Lord does His sovereign will, and always has my best interests at heart! I do not need to like my circumstances in order to praise my Lord and Saviour.
“But indeed, O man, who are you to reply against God? Will the thing formed say to him who formed it, “Why have you made me like this?” Romans 9:20 and Job 36:23 “Who has prescribed his ways for him, or said to him, “You have done wrong? Remember to extol his work.”
We know full well the truth of Psalm 139:15-16
“My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.”
He makes no mistakes, and is never taken by surprise!
I am thankful for the daily tasks that demand my attention, and for the privilege of carrying a new life, even if it was only for a short while.
I used to feel that the Lord had been unfair to David and Bathsheba, taking their child. After all, why punish the baby when the adults were the naughty ones!
Then I came to see that the Lord was sparing that baby!
There would be no tears, no illness, no pain, nor sorrow.
Straight to the arms of Christ that baby went.
That baby was not punished at all! Only David and Bathsheba!
I do not believe that I am being punished, and don’t worry, this pregnancy was not from an adulterous affair !
I do believe that our baby has been spared the evils that lurk on this earth.
Praise God for another soul! I am proud to be the mother of 16, where 5 have gone straight into the gates of heaven without ever needing to shed a tear, and where the light that shines for them is the glory of God, rather than the sun.
They are blessed!
I am blessed!
And I can say in truth that whether the Lord gives or takes away , praise be His name!
May He bless me with children again and fill my womb!
If not, may I continue to walk in thankfulness just the same!
“I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in
all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and
to suffer need.”
I know that some women have felt that they could not possibly risk future
pregnancies after a loss, as the emotional trial is too hard.
However, I feel that the creative power of God is at work and whether I am honoured to only be a part of the creative process of an eternal soul for a short while, or whether I am allowed the privilege of stewardship of a child for a time on earth, I am richly blessed!
I will gladly continue to trust the Lord with my womb, and we as a family will hope for more babies to hold in our arms, if it be God’s will. The clock has not stopped ticking yet! I am only 41! I am certainly not without hope!
I leave you with 2 Corinthians 4:8, 17-18:
“We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not
in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;
For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far
more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;
While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.”
Our baby is eternal and is in eternity now!
Michelle Kauenhofen works at Above Rubies, and is
married to Cam, parents to Bryson(18), Jacinda (17), Dalton (16), Brielle (13),
Logan (11), Havenne (10), Gideon (8), Jilissa (6), Tressa Leigh (4), Drayden
(3), Solana (5 mon). Sadly, lost 4 babies along the way.