Addison and Dakota

Told by: Amber

When I was 17 I was told that I have a possible bicornuate uterus and that I would never be able to have children. This killed me because it has always been my dream to have children. I never really had parents growing up and I was “pawned” off on a lot of people to take care of me. I have worked so hard in my life to break the cycle and not be like my parents. When I was 18 I married my amazing Air Force husband. When he came back from a TDY we decided to try for a baby anyways. The first time we tried I got pregnant. I knew the second we got pregnant, I could just feel it in my heart. When I went in for my
ultrasound the doctor told us that we were gonna lose the baby because the sac was irregular. He started moving the ultrasound wand around and said “wait a minute.” Alarmed, my husband I stared at him waiting for a response. He smiled and said that there was another baby. We were not prepared to hear that but after a minute we were so overjoyed. When I was 8 weeks pregnant my husband and I were sitting at the kitchen table. I stood up to get something and he started to freak out and was pointing at my legs. I looked down and saw a bunch of blood. I started crying and we drove to the emergency
room. I was cramping so bad and after some tests they told me that I had lost one of the babies. They did an ultrasound to check the other baby and the ultrasound tech let me listen to the babies heartbeat. The doctor told me that even though I lost one baby I was going to keep the other one. The next day I lost my other baby. The doctor came in and said “So you aborted your other baby, let’s get your paper work and get you home.” That was it. He just walked out and said nothing else. The nurses came in and asked a million questions. I lost a lot of friends after the miscarriage because no one understood and I felt so alone. Even my husband and I began to have problems. He decided he never wanted
to have kids and he didn’t care that I did. Now a year and a half later he wants to try again. I went in to the doctor so I could get a checkup first and I have had multiple ultrasounds and an MRI. I have a septate uterus so I am going to have to have surgery. I just hope it all works out in the end.

For my sweet Angels, who grew wings January 4th, 2010, Addison Reese and Dakota Haven.

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