(go back to Cemetary Burial)
You should know:
- Some funeral homes do not accomodate separate pricing or plots for full term infants, or for pregnancy loss infants.
- Some funeral homes will require a police officer to visit your home to ask you if your pregnancy loss occured because of domestic violence or other reasons.
- Some funeral homes will not allow you to purchase a casket from any company other than theirs. Heaven’s Gain , Trappist Caskets, and Elizabeth Ministry are a few online businesses that do sell infant caskets. Check with your funeral home before purchasing. HAIN also sells infant caskets, as well as clothing, as does Elizabeth Ministry.
- Other resources for infant burial clothing include: MaryMadeline Project and Something Precious and Cheeky Chums
- Some funeral homes only have cremation available for infants.
- If your baby is going to be cremated through your hospital and you have permission to recieve the ashes, ask if your baby can be cremated separately than other loss babies at that hospital.
- It is important to look into more than one funeral home for these reasons.
- AngelNames.Org and Mason’s Cause and Olivia Raine and Mollianna’s Mission offer a very limited amount of financial assistance for headstones for babies generally 20 gestational weeks and older, on an application basis.
When you decide on a funeral home and cemetary:
- A representative from the funeral home may transport your baby there. If you have a miscarried baby, and are planning on having an official burial (at a cemetary) you will probably have the choice to drive your baby’s body to the funeral home instead if you’d like. If you have delivered your baby at a hospital, a representative from the funeral home may go to the hospital to get your baby and bring him or her back to the funeral home.
- If you have a miscarried baby, you might place his or her body in a ziplock bag or small tupperware container. Do not reopen this container. Then, place this container inside a more personal and special container. You might keep this container cooled, in your refridgerator, garage, shed or basement, depending on what you are most comfortable with.
- If you have a stillborn baby, you will be allowed to select his or her outfit. This is usually the outfit brought to the hospital at the time of the delivery, but if there are any changes to this, you should talk to your funeral home director for more information.
- The funeral home will discuss this with you, but you may have the option of having a visitation in addition to a funeral, and you may decide on having both on the same day or on two different days.
Planning a funeral for your baby will be emotionally difficult. You will need to decide who to invite, including if you’d like a pastor present or not, and you will need to decide what will be said or done to honor your baby. You will probably be allowed to place a small teddy bear, blanket, photo or letter in the casket with your baby’s body.
Here is a list of other ideas to help you:
Generally, you will have a representative from the funeral home present during the funeral. The grave will already be dug and may be covered with a mat during the service. Immediately after the service, representatives from the funeral home will lower your baby and bury him or her. Any flowers that are brought for the funeral may be layed over the gravesite.
If you’d like, you might ask:
- If you can help lower your baby’s casket into the earth.
- If you can sprinkle the first dirt over the casket.
- The funeral home may not permit you to purchase a headstone from any other company than through them.
- The headstone you select from the funeral home usually comes with a guarantee of being repaired at any time it is damaged (which can be why it may be very expensive).
- You do not need to purchase the headstone right away. You can purchase it at a later time.